In this section you will find information about the laser hair removal process I underwent. I'm not convinced it was that successful, but will relate my experiences for your benefit.

An interesting point to note, is that the doctor told me a lot of men come in for beard removal, and also warned me I would never be able to grow a beard ever. I have been for 15 sessions, and now more than 1 year after the last session I still have plenty of hair on my face again. I'm sure as technology advances it will get more effective.

If you're interested in having a very clear face for a major event I would recommend a laser session 2-3 weeks prior to the event. 

Part 1 - Initial Consultation

That was quick. I popped into the doctor to get an initial quote on costs, and a check to see whether it was feasible to perform. He told me I have some blonde hair in my beard and that I will have to shave for life. At least the dark hair will go, along with the awful 12 o' clock shadow. I figured once the dark hair (easily the majority of my beard) is gone, I could get the rest taken off with electrolysis.

Anyway, I think I'm fortunate, because the doctor gave me a once off quote, and then all you pay I had to pay for was topical anaesthetic cream. He really believed in the process and was prepared to risk not charging a per session cost. I could go back as many times as I liked, and only pay a once off upfront charge. Not bad!

I was warned that beard removal is painful, simply because a man has a lot of thicker hair on his face and there is a lot of bone structure right under a thin layer of skin.

Part II - The First "Clearing"

Goodness me, was I nervous. I had to shave as closely as I could. I did that at 8am. I got to the doctor at 9am, and they shaved me again, this time with and against the grain. It's a bit unnerving, because they shave your skin so fast, but I guess that's just practiced hands at work. As they explained, they had to shave closely because the hair heats up significantly, and the less hair present the less likely you are to be burned and the faster the skin is able to recover.

After shaving they applied a topical anaesthetic and covered it with cling wrap, and gave me some painkillers (not sure what), to help me because I have a low pain threshold (must be the girl in me...). I had to sit for about 60 minutes while the topical anaesthetic took effect. What a waste of time. I passed the time reading Paul Reiser's book, Babyhood, just in case you're wondering.

Finally it was time to go into the "laser room"

November 2003

Manchester, October 2003

October 2000

The "laser room" has a big machine in it, with a laser device that has a head about the size of two toothbrush heads next to each other. It's small.

The nurses calmed me a bit, and then the procedure started. I lay down on an examination bed, much like every doctor has in their consulting rooms, and then they slowly but surely applied the laser to my face, starting at my neck and moving upwards. They did my moustache and chin last, because those are the most painful regions.

During the process they kept on shaving my face with a single blade to keep the hair as short as possible. They also showed me what was happening with a mirror at times. Imagine this. You see smooth skin, that's newly shaved. They apply the laser, and suddenly you see 1/4 inch hairs "jumping" out of your face. They literally jump clear of your skin. It's amazing.

Immediately afterwards, I was instructed not to go in the direct sun for a few weeks, and to use a factor 30 sun block for 3 months afterwards. My skin had a nice red colour, almost like sunburn, and was a bit swollen. It was the smoothest it's ever felt.

Over the next few days I got a black stubble on my face. The hair seemed to be much darker. Apparently this was 'dead' hair that was being expelled by the pores. I was disheartened, but after seeing the doctor +/- a week later he told me to wait another week, and then start watching the water when I washed my face.

Sure enough about a week later, every time I washed my face for about 5 days, there was a whole lot of hair lying in the basin. It looked like I'd just shaved, but I hadn't!

For a few days after that my skin was really clear; like I've never seen before. After that I started to shave every second day, and now 2 months later the stubble is back. The redness disappeared after about 1 1/2 weeks.

Hair has 3 cycles of growth, and can only be targeted by the laser in the growing phase. Not all hair has the same cycle, so it is common for people to have to undergo at least three treatments under the laser before they see a radical change.

It is a quite painful process, so if you can't deal with pain go to the dentist and get a local anaesthetic first. Many people do. For my second treatment I'm going to try get some decent anti-inflammatory drugs as well.

The second laser session was a lot less painful than the first, and it seems to get easier every time. The laser's effects were not remarkable, but at least I do have noticeably less hair on the sides of my face and neck. I haven't had ingrown hair for ages, and shaving in the morning was a lot quicker than it used to be. My twelve 'o clock shadow was not nearly as obvious as it used to be, which was great. It meant I could go without shaving for longer, which means longer evenings and trips to the mall dressed :)

My chin and upper lip area were not cleared very well, but they had been using a relatively low energy beam on those areas because they're so sensitive and the pain unbearable. I've waxed my legs and used an epilator on them, and laser is much more painful. At the fourth session, I finally managed to get through the session with the laser set to the same energy as for the rest of my face.

The laser does not have any impact on blonde hairs, don't even think about losing those with a laser. I hoped it would clear the dark hairs. The doctor I was seeing advertised guaranteed results, so I was hoping it would all out, others I suspect probably insisted on a refund. Whenever I was there the nursing staff (properly registered nurses) and the others all seemed pretty positive that I'll lose the hair for life after a few more sessions. This seems contrary to what people say on the Internet in general, so I was maintain hope.

Stardust - Johannesburg 2000

Irene and I at the Phil Beach, Earls Court, London

Shortly after the tenth treatment I received a call from some liquidators explaining that the laser clinic I was visiting was in financial trouble, and was to be closed down. This was a little annoying, to say the least, because I paid upfront for my treatments and was told I probably would not receive any money. I count my lucky stars that I managed to get 10 treatments, I'm sure there were others far worse off.

Anyhow, after about an 18 month break, in which I had some partial re-growth in areas I had considered permanently cleared, I went back to another laser clinic and continued the treatments. I'm please to say it was not nearly as sore as I expected after such a long break, which in a subjective way, tells me I did not have significant re-growth. I can report that my chin area started clearing up nicely, and I was finally getting bald patches in the moustache area right up to the expected next follow-up appointment. I went been for five treatments at the new centre.

I've since moved to Johannesburg, and have not continued with laser treatments in Johannesburg.

Lately I've taken to pluck the light hairs with a pair of tweezers. It's sore but I'm used to it now. I've even run an Epi-Lady over my neck and cheeks a few times. It works great, but ow! ow! ow! :) I don't do it often, but it does keep beard shadow down to a minimum, which means I don't ever have to use cake make-up. Who says being beautiful is easy or painless?!